


You're an Idiot (but you're My Idiot)

by samuraiseonghwa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Disaster dates, Hockey, Ice Skating, Johnny is an Idiot but thats okay, M/M, jaewin if you squint, vaguely christmasy, xiaoyang if you squint even harder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28410318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samuraiseonghwa/pseuds/samuraiseonghwa
Summary: Sometimes disasters make the best dates.
Relationships: Suh Youngho | Johnny/Qian Kun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39
Collections: NCTV Secret Santa 2020





	You're an Idiot (but you're My Idiot)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unnameable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unnameable/gifts).



As soon as Kun opened the door to his boyfriend’s apartment he was greeted by a large cloud of black smoke. The smell of burnt spices invaded his taste buds tickling his throat, making him cough. There was incoherent shouting from the kitchen and Kun rushed towards it half expecting it to be engulfed in flames.

“Christ.”

By some miracle, the kitchen wasn’t on fire but it did look like a gale-force wind had ripped it. There wasn’t a spare piece of countertop that wasn’t covered in flour or dirty utensils and it seemed the floor had also got the same treatment in some places. There was a still smouldering pan of very burnt...something resting on the stovetop and the inside of the oven itself looked like it was caked in soot. Johnny and Jaehyun stood in the middle of all the chaos, Johnny had his back to him and was standing with his hands above his head a towel muffling the screaming smoke alarm and Jaehyun furiously waving another attempting to direct the plumes of smoke out the open window.

Neither of them noticed him standing in the doorway until he cleared his throat loudly. Jaehyun jumped about a mile in the air and looked sheepishly in Kuns direction, hiding the towel behind his back. Kun just raised an eyebrow at him. Johnny’s whole body tensed for a second before he glanced over his shoulder and spotted him. A beaming smile took over his face and for a second Kun’s heart reminded him he was in love with the idiot before his brain took over again.

Picking up a filthy abandoned oven mitt Kun pushed the smouldering pan of cremated baked goods into the miraculously empty sink and turned on the tap. The cold water hitting the pan created a cloud of super-hot steam but instantly put out the embers. With the source of the smoke gone, the smoke alarm shut off and the kitchen was suddenly silent. Kun decided that he wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence and just crossed his arms. He knew Jaehyun would crack under pressure even if Johnny did not.

All it took was a single raised eyebrow and Jaehyun was crumbling.

“Johnny was trying to be romantic and baked gingerbread but we started watching the game and oh my god there was smoke and I think it was on fire at one point and we are soooo not getting our security deposit back.”

Kun wasn’t exactly sure what any of meant so he turned to the third occupant of the kitchen. Johnny still had a dopey smile on his face and Kun had to focus to make sure he didn’t get distracted and just kiss the fool.

“You were trying to be romantic?”

A nod.

“And baked gingerbread?”

Another nod.

“But you forgot about it and nearly burnt down your apartment?”

This time the question was met with a grimace and Johnny ran a hand through his hair.

“We’re just going to forget this ever happened,” he said looking at the ceiling. “Can you like, go outside and count to ten?” Kun laughed but he was willing to play along. It was something Johnny had been doing since the very first time they’d met. Kun had only been a week in college when Johnny had knocked on his door. Kun had been sharing an apartment with Doyoung (whom he’d later found out was actually Johnny’s cousin) and the two had braved their first pizza delivery. Kun had answered the door expecting cheesy goodness but instead had come face to face with one Johnny Suh. Kun can’t exactly remember what Johnny had said the first time he’d opened the door but before he’d been able to reply Johnny had pulled the door closed and had re-knocked. The second time Kun had opened the door Johnny had swept back his hair and had hit Kun with his best cheesy pickup line, his “second first impression” as he would later call it.

“Should I knock this time?” Kun said over his shoulder, leaving the mayhem of the kitchen. As soon as he’d turned around he heard pots bagging and Jaehyun yelping as if he’d tried to grab the hot pan. He didn’t fully close the door so he could still hear the two roommates attempting to “clean”.

There was a lull in the frantic noise so Kun deemed that he’d given them enough time. This time he loudly knocked on the door before stepping into the apartment. Jaehyun was nowhere to be found this time, Kun suspected he was just out of sight holding all of the dirty pans. Johnny stood in the door kitchen doorway effectively blocking the way. If it hadn’t been for the dried cake batter that was stuck to his forehead and part of his bangs it would have looked like nothing had ever happened. Kun could only roll his eyes.

Johnny planted a sloppy kiss on Kun’s forehead as he strategically steered him towards the living room. If Kun was being honest, the living room wasn’t much better than the kitchen had been. There was piles of textbooks on every flat surface and folders with pages spilling out abandoned on three of the four places that had once been chairs. Johnny was in the middle of his final year’s winter exams so Kun could excuse that mess. He didn’t agree with the multiple coffee mugs that littered the table nor the haphazard stack of pizza boxes on the coffee table but Johnny was a Bro at heart and no amount of homosexuality was ever going to counter act that.

“So what did you want me to come over for O Romeo?” Johnny had sent Kun a cryptic text earlier telling him to come over. It had probably been connected to the disaster zone formally known as the kitchen but Kun was interested to see what Johnny would come up with now.

It seemed Johnny hadn’t thought of that judging by the panic Kun could see in his eyes. Jaehyun chose that moment to try escape from the kitchen and it seemed to give Johnny the inspiration he needed to come up with a spontaneous idea.

“Jaehyun’s going ice skating with Winwin and I was thinking we could go too. Jae won’t mind if we tag along right?” He addressed the last part to the fleeing second year who then gave an enthusiastic thumbs up before dashing down the hall to his room. Kun was sure Jae didn’t mind but Winwin definitely would. He’d been trying to get Jaehyun to go on a date with him all semester. “Excellent!” And now the two of them were going as well apparently.

~~~~

Every year the man made lake on the edge of the campus froze solid and the college set up a rink and little Christmas village just off the side of it. Students and alumni got in from free but it was also open to the public for a small fee. The college hockey team liked to play little friendly skirmishes with some of the high school teams from around the area and sometimes taught middle school aged kids how to play. The little purpose built shacks sold little seasonal snacks and nice warm glasses of non alcoholic mulled wine. This year it looked like they’d added some silly props for photos that seemed to be drawing a crowd. The rink itself had safety barriers around the side and there was a place to rent skates but most people had their own. Kun had reluctantly bought a pair after having had to rent them in his first semester. It had been a disaster but Ten had insisted it was because he didn’t have decent skates. He was still not very graceful on the ice but it had been a long time since he’d actually fallen over.

Kun had sent Winwin a text on the way over to the rink so at least he wasn’t surprised by their sudden appearance. He still had a massive pout on his face when they arrived and looked ready to drop kick Johnny every time the man opened his mouth. 

It was just below freezing so everyone was wrapped in thick coats and gloves. The air was extra dry and stung with every breath in but that meant that the lake wasn’t that busy today. Faint christmas music was being played over the sound system but it could barely be heard over the sound of the hockey jocks smashing their sticks together down at one end of the rink. It seemed it was only a casual meet today, none of them had their pads on bar YangYang in his goalie leg guards and it looked like Xiaojun and Jaemin were with them. Every so often Xiaojun would do one of his fancy figure skater spins, Yangyang would drool and one of the team would slip the puck past him.

~~~~

It became very obvious very quickly that Johnny had no idea how to skate. He’d gone to rent a pair of generic brand ones from the shack while Kun was apologizing to Winwin and had managed to slice himself before he’d even made it back to the little group.

“Man that was sharp,” had been all he’d said while the first aid person had wrapped his finger. 

He then laced up his skates completely wrong and probably would have broken his ankle if Winwin hadn’t spotted it and stopped him from standing.

Kun was ready to just call it a day when Johnny fell twice in the five steps it took to get from the bench and actually onto the ice. 

The hockey jocks had stopped goofing around at the end of the rink and were gathered around the goal, Kun could hear them exchanging bets. Sungchan was able to guess where Johnny was going to fall next with creepy accuracy and wouldn’t have to pay for his post training milkshakes for a month.

It took an hour to get Johnny moving on his own without face planting. The others had long abandoned them to hang out with Winwin’s teammates, Jaehyun seamlessly blending in with the boyfriend squad as a friendly game of five a side was played between the hockey players. Kun decided it might be safer for everyone if he just dragged Johnny around a few times more and then planted the giraffe firmly back on solid ground.

After his skates had safely been returned to the rental shack Johnny insisted that Kun sit while he got them something warm to drink. Kun was just about ready to find the nearest flat surface and sleep for a week. Who knew trying to prevent a 6’ idiot from braining himself could be so tiring. It had apparently been amusing for everyone else, Winwin had even forgiven him for crashing his date with the free entertainment.

He’d just managed to get the feeling back into his nose when Johnny returned with two steaming cups of hot chocolate. He placed both cups on the little table and sat beside Kun. He was unusually still and had his serious face on. Kun had only seen it once before and for a brief second his heart sped up as he thought Johnny was going to break up with him. Then he took hold of his gloved hand and his heart calmed down again.

“This didn’t really go how I wanted it to,” he said as he pulled out a small box from inside his coat. Kun’s heart sped up for a different reason. Doyoung had been teasing him mercilessly as he’d seen Johnny coming out of a jewellery store with a little bag. 

“I had planned to make a gingerbread house and had all these corny puns ready but none of them make sense out here.” A sad pout at the lost opportunity crossed Johnny’s face but then he smiled, shrugged and got down on one knee.

Kun could hear everyone else’s gasps and a shrill scream that sounded like Xiaojun but he couldn’t turn away as Johnny opened the little box that he held in his hand that held...a key?

“Will you move in with me?” 

Kun was utterly confused. 

“Jaehyun is going on placement next semester so my apartment will be child free.” 

Kun glanced at the man in question and got two enthusiastic thumbs up in return. He also got a glimpse of the rest of the team standing there with baited breath and he realised exactly how the situation looked.

“You idiot,” he said, giving Johnny a shove so he fell over. “They think you’ve asked me to marry you.” Johnny at least had the good graces to look a tiny bit guilty. They were still a few milestones away from that.

“So is that a no?” Johnny had just managed to sit up but Kun just shoved him over again.

“I’ll have to work somethings out with Doyoung but yes it’s not a no.”

Johnny unexpectedly pulled him down into his arms and he let out an indignant squeak as he fell.

“Merry Christmas Babe.”

“Merry Christmas Idiot.”


End file.
